Well my parents have kind of got a wiff of my reversion and what it means. From what I can tell, they are not happy (surprise, surprise). There is a strange indifference in the air. I feel like I’ve been thrust back to the days where whatever I did was wrong. So far my car privileges have been taken away, next was allowance. So I’m being caged in little by little, but they don’t know that all I need is a 5×5 space where I can pray. Let’s hope they don’t find out coz the way things are going I might just get that space instead of a whole room.
I have yet to muster up the courage to go and officially have “the talk” with them. I’m too scared of my dad. Well it’s complicated. My dad isn’t the most “family oriented” man. It’s been a struggle to be a family since…well forever (as far as I can remember). My mother is waiting to leave, just waiting till my brother has finished college. I don’t want to do anything which would jeopardize that. If my father objects to my reversion, I know my brother and mother will suffer for it. I don’t want someone else to suffer for my actions. I don’t want to be selfish like that. It’s not fair, but what in life is?!
I’m hoping to talk to my dad soon, Insha’Allah. My mother and brother are alright. It’s just my father I have to get around. I can say now, this is going to be the biggest challenge ever! He doesn’t really have the best opinion of Muslims. Unfortunately he takes all the AK47 slinging, suicide bombing, female dominating, completely un- Islamic so called Muslims as examples. I often wonder why on earth does such a beautiful religion like this have such rotten apples?! Makes a reverts life that much harder!
If I do this, I have to do it in a way that all the heat is going to be on me (mission accomplished so far since everyone seems to be giving me strange looks). But when all of this hits the fan, it should fall on me and no one else. Insha’Allah I’m hoping for the best. Worse case scenario of course would be being thrown out of the house. I have no plan for this…I have limited income and (given the current economic conditions in Sri Lanka) it’s not enough to pay rent and live. Actually it not enough for even one of those things, cost of living over here is ridiculous!
Whatever it is I trust Allah (SWT). He is the best planner and there is no better provider than him. I trust him with my affairs. What ever obstacle that comes my way, I shall face with him by my side. Insha’Allah, I shall win this.
Okay, let’s do this thing!