Everyone is always very happy when they hear you are a revert. It’s all Mashallah and Alhamdulillah followed by how did it happen? why did it happen? Yup, it’s all rosy gardens till you try to marry someone in their family and it instantly becomes, “It’s great you are a revert, Mashallah, but we don’t want reverts in our family” or “Reverts don’t really suit our family”. What is that?! Is it fake happiness they show when they hear that you have embarked on one of the toughest journeys of your life? Is it fake acceptance when they say they are so happy that you have come to the path of Allah (SWT)? Is it fake joy they display when they realize I am just like them? WHAT IS THAT?!
I don’t understand what I could have done to deserve such a response. I’m not some sort of alien. I imagine sentences like “We will not accept vampires in our family” but not “Reverts can’t be a part of our family”. Why? Are we not good enough? Do we not believe in Allah and the last Prophet Mohamed (SAW)? Do we not pray five times a day, fast one month of each year and pay our zakath on time? Do we not wear hijab and guard our modesty? Do we not strive to be close to Allah (SWT)? Are we really that different??
It really is people like this that make me feel really unaccepted. It doesn’t make sense. If our beloved Prophet (SAW), one of the purest (if not the purest) men ever created, married reverts why are we not good enough for ordinary human beings?
If our magnificent creator can forgive me for my past and accept me into his light then why do my fellow Muslims still judge me on what I used to be? What does my race have to do with anything? Why does where I live and how much money I have matter? Why is it better to have a non- practising Muslim who has a strong bloodline than a practising Muslim revert?
What is wrong with people?!
As the saying goes, it’s these kinds of things that make me feel ashamed of my Muslim community. Of course there are always rotten apples, and it’s not fair to judge the whole community on this line of ignorance. Unfortunately it’s just so painful, what they say hurts a lot. I know it’s always different when it comes to your kids, and if you were upright with it, I would be fine. Saying one thing and putting my hopes up just to crash it down ruthlessly is just wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong, if anything I try really hard to be a good Muslim. I never asked for anything, I never demanded anything, all I wanted was to marry a man who I thought would be a good husband. A man who I believe Allah has led me to. A man who fights the same ignorance that is thrown at him. A brilliant and kind man (mashallah) who is trying to break the foundation of such an ignorant culture so that reverts like me can actually marry into families without being treated like something less valuable.
So the ugly truth is, no matter how happy people are about you reverting on the outside, inside they still see you as a “Sinhala” girl. The only difference in me is that I don’t fight it, I embrace it. I’m proud of being a Sinhalese and a Muslim. I apologize to no one and will not be made to feel inferior just because my blood line isn’t linked to a long line of Muslims.
May Allah protect us all from such ignorance and intolerance. May Allah always keep us modest, pure, humble and guide us to what is right. May Allah never cause us to discriminate and feel this way when it comes to our children. Ameen!