I woke up today, Alhamdulillah, feeling like the world had gotten a whole lot brighter! I felt amazing! I felt like me again. I wondered why, out of the blue I felt so good. Finally I realized it’s because I was happy. After so long, I was genuinely, unconditionally, independently, happy! The excitement of Ramadan being so close is like fuel to me. The amount of energy bursting through me is starting to scare even me. All the things that I needed to do, the panic, it’s all gone and done with. Just preparing myself for all the things I missed so much brings so much fulfilment to my heart.
Driving around tonight I noticed a lot of Muslims had already started emerging from their slumber. Like the first flowers of spring to bloom through the frozen snow, or the first autumn leaf to turn bright red, people were starting to emerge from their houses. Dates have become abundantly available. Advertisements for ifthar packages are playing over and over again. Pre-Ramadan gifts are being exchanged. New lines of clothing are being bought and prepared in the big stores. Kids are out of school, playing in the streets. Decorations are being put up in mosques. The air is light and sweet. Ramadan is so close, just beyond my finger tips and I couldn’t be any more excited.
I can’t wait for the comfort of sahar early in the morning, for the pure refreshment of wudu while fasting, for the empathy you feel for your brothers and sisters, for the satisfaction of earning extra rewards for extra prayers, for the amount of energy you seem to have at all times of the day, for the amazing productivity of a single day, for the first sip of water when you break fast after a long and tiring day, for the lists of food you make in your head to consume but forget once those 3 dates pass your lips, for Ifthars with friends, for tharawee prayers where you promise yourself to pray at least 8 rakath but end up doing 20 anyway, for Qiyam-Ul-Layl late at night with no one but your Lord, for the bright crowded streets where the time of night doesn’t seem to be a factor, for the late nights staying up till Sahar with people you love, and of course, Eid, beautiful Eid!
I can not wait for the beautiful feelings of Ramadan. The feeling of purity, salvation and forgiveness. The feeling of nothing but goodness flowing through you. The feeling of happiness and sheer contentment. Oh! if I could hug Ramadan, I would never let it go!
This is me outstretching my arms and embracing it with all my might! This is me, arms wide open, feeling like I am the queen of the world *Titanic reference* 🙂