Given all that has happened, I feel it’s time to revise my intro. I haven’t change a lot but I would say I’ve become better, masha’allah. 23 is a brand new year, and Alhamdulillah I was able to live another year. Allah only knows if I’ll turn 24, so as part of my post Ramadan plan I choose to live in the moment, make the best of every little second I get.
The most important thing I’ve come to realize these past couple of months is that I am young. I am so very young and inexperienced. I might be more mature than most my age but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still young and new to this world. To think that I have it all figured out even for a second is a mistake. A mistake that caused me a lot. I don’t use this as an excuse but this is me being honest. I should never, even for a second feel, even an ounce of arrogance thinking that I have everything figured out. I know nothing! I am still growing, still learning, I fall all the time and Allah (SWT) with all his mercy picks me up every time. So I’m going to stop acting like I know anything, because I don’t. I don’t even know if I’ll be alive tomorrow. All I know is that I have this, this moment right here, it’s what I know I have for sure. It’s what Allah has given me and it’s my job to make the best of everything He gives me. It’s my job to trust Him and His plan and just live and do justice to every blessing He sends my way, insha’allah.
I am revising the Secret Hijabi, simply because I’m not the same 21 year old who wrote that intro. I’m still crazy random but I’m definitely different, insha’allah better, I hope 🙂
So let me start over…
I would like nothing more than to tell you exactly who I am, but I have found that I still don’t really know who I am yet. All I have right now are hopes and dreams of who I want to be. So with Allah (SWT)’s guidance I am still just a work in progress.
I often describe myself as a collection of odd and contradicting characteristics, and I feel that’s how best I can be described. I am still learning, I am still moving and with each day I change a little, I become better, I learn more, my mind opens more and by Allah’s mercy I grow closer to him, Alhamdulillah!
So here is what I can tell you for now, I am 24 (right now), I am a woman, I am a Muslim, I reverted/converted when I was 17, I am Sinhalese, I live in Sri Lanka and I adorn the hijab in secret (unknowingly to my parents and family). Hence the name the Secret Hijabi.
The purpose of this blog initially was for me to be able to reach out to other reverts, share my stories, learn from them, share my knowledge of Islam, and also to log in my day to day thoughts and experiences of what happens in my ‘secret’ life. I would say it’s still more or less the same, the only exception being it’s more about my thoughts now, less about teaching Islam. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about all the things that I go through, and sometimes, I believe, being anonymous helps share stories. So here I am, sharing my stories and welcoming yours.
Everything I write is an argument or discussion I have with myself, it is a reminder to myself first and foremost, and it comes from my heart, and in no way do I intend to offend anyone with what I say.
I am so happy to meet each and everyone of you, and I really hope you enjoy reading. Thank you for coming in to my life 🙂