Revising the Secret Hijabi

Given all that has happened, I feel it’s time to revise my intro. I haven’t change a lot but I would say I’ve become better, masha’allah. 23 is a brand new year, and Alhamdulillah I was able to live another year. Allah only knows if I’ll turn 24, so as part of my post Ramadan plan I choose to live in the moment, make the best of every little second I get.

The most important thing I’ve come to realize these past couple of months is that I am young. I am so very young and inexperienced. I might be more mature than most my age but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still young and new to this world. To think that I have it all figured out even for a second is a mistake. A mistake that caused me a lot. I don’t use this as an excuse but this is me being honest. I should never, even for a second feel, even an ounce of arrogance thinking that I have everything figured out. I know nothing! I am still growing, still learning, I fall all the time and Allah (SWT) with all his mercy picks me up every time. So I’m going to stop acting like I know anything, because I don’t. I don’t even know if I’ll be alive tomorrow. All I know is that I have this, this moment right here, it’s what I know I have for sure. It’s what Allah has given me and it’s my job to make the best of everything He gives me. It’s my job to trust Him and His plan and just live and do justice to every blessing He sends my way, insha’allah.

I am revising the Secret Hijabi, simply because I’m not the same 21 year old who wrote that intro. I’m still crazy random but I’m definitely different, insha’allah better, I hope 🙂

So let me start over…

Assalamu’Alaikum!

I would like nothing more than to tell you exactly who I am, but I have found that I still don’t really know who I am yet. All I have right now are hopes and dreams of who I want to be. So with Allah (SWT)’s guidance I am still just a work in progress.

I often describe myself as a collection of odd and contradicting characteristics, and I feel that’s how best I can be described. I am still learning, I am still moving and with each day I change a little, I become better, I learn more, my mind opens more and by Allah’s mercy I grow closer to him, Alhamdulillah!

So here is what I can tell you for now, I am 24 (right now), I am a woman, I am a Muslim, I reverted/converted when I was 17, I am Sinhalese, I live in Sri Lanka and I adorn the hijab in secret (unknowingly to my parents and family). Hence the name the Secret Hijabi.

The purpose of this blog initially was for me to be able to reach out to other reverts, share my stories, learn from them, share my knowledge of Islam, and also to log in my day to day thoughts and experiences of what happens in my ‘secret’ life. I would say it’s still more or less the same, the only exception being it’s more about my thoughts now, less about teaching Islam. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about all the things that I go through, and sometimes, I believe, being anonymous helps share stories. So here I am, sharing my stories and welcoming yours.

Everything I write is an argument or discussion I have with myself, it is a reminder to myself first and foremost, and it comes from my heart, and in no way do I intend to offend anyone with what I say.

I am so happy to meet each and everyone of you, and I really hope you enjoy reading. Thank you for coming in to my life 🙂

Peace!

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13 thoughts on “Revising the Secret Hijabi

  1. Subhanallah it was lovely reading this. I am also happy that you are sharing your life stories and debates with me too lol sister anonymous. You have a talent in writing and I really enjoy reading your blogs 🙂 keep them coming xx

  2. “Secret Hijabi” fits very well. Converting is a beautiful thing which even some Muslims by birth get jealous of. its really great to read about your experience and I do hope someday u will b free to wear her hijab in present of her parents. Hope to read more from you.

      • sister !! u know dis is a greatest surprise cos i ve tried teachin islam to many sinhalese frnds..dey sound athiest and highly interllectual in opposing the topic on de existense of a creator !! even now was teachin a sinhalese frnd abt islam..for him its like a joke or somthin…based on my experience its a surprise!! oya kohomada islam gana dana gatthey? kowda obawa mey hari magata yomukarey?

      • Salams brother, yes it’s difficult to grasp the concept of Iman. I think it’s something that Allah has to put in your heart, not something anyone can teach. And Allah guides those he pleases and will keep blind those he pleases. Sometimes the best thing we can do is ask dua for them. But masha’allah it’s nice to see someone who is trying to actively participate in dawah. I rarely meet Muslims interested in trying to teach Islam. Yomukarey, I have to say Allah (swt) because the stubborn 17yr old I was could only be changed by Allah’s mercy. He is the one who gave me an interest in Islam and guided me to the right path. Dana gatthey, mostly from friends because alhamdulillah, as Allah had written it all my friends when I was 17 were Muslims so I started understanding things from them. I then learnt on my own what Islam actually is, fast track 7 years and here we are!

  3. salams sister !! jazakallahu haira !! thanks for your reply. yes its allah’s will which made you come towards the righteous path !! surprised with ur answer sister!! just a small advice from me, please don’t judge islam based on muslims!! also try to teach islam to your parents step by step, until they finally grasp the truth !! ok sister see you later !! may allah bless you !! assalamualaikum !!

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